But! I am, so, enjoy!! :-)
The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.
No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, 'You stay here, I'll go on a head.'
I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was,
a nurse said, 'No change yet.'
A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
A backward poet writes inverse.
In democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.
Maybe I should just write a story next time.... or did that not go over so well... :-)